10 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Family Relationships During the Holidays

Claudette Jordan
A man and a woman are having an argument and the woman is pointing at the man.

While Christmas is often termed “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, it can be a season of distress for many. Navigating less than ideal relationships with immediate, extended or in-law family often comes up in therapy sessions around this time of the year as the prospect of having to spend protracted periods of time with challenging people in your world can bring up old wounds. Most of my clients find themselves in a tension between feeling a desire to have family time together on the one hand, and a sense of heightened anxiety at the thought of the potential negative outcomes on the other.


If you opt for sharing the holidays together, then taking some time out before you meet to reflect on your emotions, the typical nature of your interactions, the situations that may be potentially difficult are all helpful towards your equipping. Here are some suggestions of steps that you can take towards your mental preparation:


1. Know what you're getting into - Making sense of the typical patterns of relating, the roles that we habitually fall into, what/who triggers you and the circumstances around that can improve your self and relational knowledge and understanding and help you to be less reactive in the moment. It also initiates the process of thinking about how to shift the usual dynamics and opens you up to the possibilities of new ways of relating. Think about your interactions with others like dancing together – if you want to change the dance you have to do some different steps.


2. Work towards acceptance - This is the first step for change. Your family is who they are. If they have disappointed you in the past, are not able to meet your needs or do not share the same ideas as you, trying to change them will leave you frustrated, resentful and disappointed. Their responses, or lack thereof, is not a reflection you and your worth but is an expression of their humanity and limitations. Sometimes our painful relational experiences keep us stuck in perceptions and a story that repeats itself and prevents us from seeing that there is also good in our family members. Acceptance means not only coming to terms with the negatives in these relationships but also seeing the positive attributes that can be enjoyed as well, creating a broader and different story.


3. Shift your expectations – Unmet expectations can trigger past hurt and pain and potentially create further conflict. Acceptance allows you to alter your expectations of your family to a more realistic outlook of how they will respond, what they can and cannot be or do for you and what the nature of your time together will be potentially be like.


4. Have a plan – Reflecting on past patterns of interactions and how you predict potentially challenging certain situations might go can lead to worry and a sense of helplessness. When worrying thoughts surface, use your energy to devise a plan of how you will handle these situations instead. Focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t – Will you choose to communicate differently? Can you steer the situation to a different outcome? Will you let things go rather than engaging? Is it better for you remove yourself from the situation? Asking these kinds of questions before hand and planning how you will respond helps you to feel some sense of control, decreases your level of anxiety and builds confidence.


5. Set clear boundaries for your time together - Being with your family does not imply that you are obligated to spend all of your time together or that you have to share the same living space with them. Think about whether it will serve you better to have separate accommodation. Choose what activities you want to share with everyone and do not be afraid to say no plans that you are not keen on. Make time to also include the traditions and experiences of personal importance to you that you might want to enjoy on your own or with selected people.


6. Establish communication limits - Have clear sense in advance of what are acceptable topics for you to engage in and what is off limits. This will help you to keep conversations from escalating. Remember that if potentially conflictual topics do arise, you can protect your truth without having to defend it, prove it, or convince anyone else of your reality. If you do decide to engage, try to stick to factual contributions of your experience, steer the conversation in an alternative direction, or try redirecting to a positive aspect of the time together and the original purpose of gathering as a family.


7. Gather support - If you have a partner, communicate some of your emotional insights, plan of action and boundaries so that you are on the same page and feel supported. Consider who are the other family members that you have more positive interactions with that could be a safe and trusting space for you to move towards.


8. Make time for self care - Before and during the time with your family. This will help to ground you and keep you relaxed. Besides a boundary on your time, think of how you might also need to protect other aspects of your wellbeing - intellectual, emotional and physical, what limits you would need to set in order to preserve your mental health and peace of mind?


9. Keep a check on your emotions - If you sense emotions building take a pause and get some alone time. What are the strategies that help you to pay attention to your emotions and soothe your body? Having a prior sense of what coping strategies you could employ helps you to deal more effectively with emotionally charged situations. Practicing self compassion allows you to validate your emotions and think about what you can do to meet your current needs. Other strategies such as journalling, sharing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted someone, mind body techniques such as breathing and relaxation exercises, time in nature and physical exercise can all be useful to alleviate your stress and help you to reset.


10. Keep a clear head - Be mindful of your alcohol intake. Whilst alcohol can be an enticing coping mechanism it can be counter productive. Managing your stress levels, regulating emotions, effective communication and decision making are actually all compromised when one is intoxicated. Instead keep in mind your other self care tools discussed above and use these when you feel stress levels rising and you need to self soothe.


If you find some of the above steps challenging to work though on your own, enlisting the help of a therapist who has expertise in family dynamics can be useful to understand relational patterns, your emotions as well as facilitating effective coping plans.


If you are interested in family counselling, please contact us via email, phone or WhatsApp to arrange a consultation with one of our supportive professional therapists.


About the Author: Claudette is a psychologist and an individual, relationship and family therapist. A firm believer in the transformative power of psychotherapy and coaching, Claudette is passionate about facilitating a safe and empowering process whereby individuals can face their challenges and find strategies that lead to a greater sense of wholeness. Read Full Bio >

Starting Fresh: Setting Intentions & Mindful Beginnings

By Praveen Kaur • January 9, 2026
Welcome to 2026 (You’ve Already Landed) By the time you’re reading this, we are already in 2026. No countdown. No confetti. No dramatic soundtrack. Just you living, showing up, doing your best. Whether you realised it or not, you crossed into this new year carrying something with you. Not a suitcase. Not a planner. A carry-on . The Invisible Luggage We All Bring Your carry-on isn’t visible but it’s always with you. Inside it might be: • Expectations you didn’t consciously choose • Emotional habits you’ve perfected over time • Unfinished conversations (with others… and yourself) • Coping strategies that once helped but now weigh you down And also… because let’s be fair • Resilience • Hard-earned wisdom • Boundaries you finally learned to set • Strength you didn’t know you had Not everything in your carry-on is a burden. But not everything belongs on this journey either. We Don’t Usually Check Our Carry-On Most of us keep moving. We assume: • “This is just how I am.” • “This has always worked for me.” • “I’ll deal with it later.” But over time, the carry-on gets heavier because we get busy “chasing”. What once felt manageable becomes: • Emotional fatigue • Reactivity • Quiet resentment • A sense of being constantly ‘on’ And we wonder why rest doesn’t quite restore us. A Gentle Question for 2026 Pause for a moment and ask yourself: What am I still carrying that I no longer need? Awareness is the first step. Not everything has to be unpacked all at once. What remains unchecked often: • Shapes our reactions • Influences our relationships • Determines how safe, calm or overwhelmed we feel Letting Go Isn’t Losing, It’s Choosing People don’t struggle because they’re broken. They struggle because they’re overloaded . Letting go doesn’t mean dismissing your past. It means honouring it without letting it run the present. In 2026, growth may look less like adding tools and more like: • Unlearning • Softening • Creating space What Deserves Space in Your Carry-On? As this year unfolds, consider revisiting your inner luggage. What’s worth keeping close? • Self-compassion • Curiosity • Honest communication • Support (yes, including professional support) What might be ready to stay behind? • Guilt that no longer teaches • Hyper-independence that isolates • Expectations that were never yours to carry Mental and emotional wellbeing isn’t about arriving lighter overnight. It’s about learning to: • Check in with yourself regularly • Notice when the load feels too heavy • Ask for support before exhaustion sets in Therapy, coaching and nurturing workshops offer a space to gently unpack without judgement, without rushing and without needing to have it all figured out. Moving Through 2026, Intentionally You are allowed to move forward differently this year. Not faster. Not harder. Just more consciously . So, as you continue into 2026, take a quiet moment to ask: What’s in my carry-on and am I ready to travel lighter? Because sometimes, the most meaningful shift isn’t a new destination. It’s what you choose to carry with you along the way.

Step Boldly into 2026: Align, Listen, and Become

By Aki Tsukui • January 6, 2026
The beginning of a new year often comes wrapped in a rush of excitement. There’s a buzz in the air. A sense of possibility of fresh pages waiting to be written. But that excitement, if left unchecked, can quickly turn into pressure. We’re told to set goals, make resolutions, and “improve” ourselves, yet often by February, the sparkle fades. The reason is simple: excitement is sustainable only when it is rooted in alignment, not obligation. When our intentions emerge from what truly matters to us, they generate energy rather than drain it. They fuel us. They awaken us to the possibilities that already exist within our reach. Conversely, when our actions are motivated solely by external expectations or a sense of duty, we burn out. We chase after shiny goals that glitter with promise but leave us exhausted at the finish line. This is why pausing at the start of the year matters so much. A moment of stillness allows us to ask critical questions: What is genuinely mine to pursue? What sparks joy, curiosity, or a sense of expansion within me? Without this reflection, we rush forward blindly, often mistaking momentum for meaningful progress. With it, we step into the work, projects, and relationships that resonate with our deepest truths. We engage in what feels expansive, alive, and authentic. The Power of Alignment Over Obligation Alignment is not about perfection. It’s not about meeting someone else’s standard or following the checklist of achievements society says we should pursue. Alignment is about listening deeply to ourselves and honoring what resonates. It is understanding that every choice, every step, every intention carries energy and that energy is precious. When it is aligned with our values, it sustains us. When it is misaligned, it depletes us. Consider the difference between doing something because it is “expected” versus doing it because it feels like a calling. When you choose the former, you may check boxes, hit deadlines, or achieve milestones, but often, it comes at the expense of your vitality. You may find yourself asking, “Why am I doing this?” Alignment transforms that dynamic. It turns effort into expression and action into joy. The Pause: A Sacred Practice Pausing is more than a moment of rest. It is a sacred practice that allows us to realign with our intentions. It is a deliberate step away from noise, distraction, and the habit of reactive living. In that pause, clarity emerges. We gain perspective. We recognize which pursuits belong to us and which are borrowed from others’ expectations. To pause effectively, consider journaling, mindful reflection, or even quiet meditation. Ask yourself: Which activities make me feel most alive? Which projects excite me because they are authentically mine? Where do I feel stretched in ways that are energizing rather than draining? These questions are not trivial. They form the blueprint for a year that feels full, meaningful, and nourishing. Dare to Expand Your Vision Once we have paused and reflected, the next step is expansion. The temptation at the start of a year is often to shrink our vision into checklists, to define success narrowly, and to prioritize “achievable” goals over inspiring ones. But true growth, the kind that stirs our imagination and nourishes our soul, requires courage. It asks us to dream bigger, to hold intentions that feel luminous and expansive. Expansion is not about recklessness; it is about daring to stretch ourselves in directions that feel right. It is about holding space for potential, curiosity, and creativity. The universe gives us beginnings as an invitation to explore what is possible, to rewrite old stories, and to breathe new life into the chapters we are yet to write. Becoming, Not Fixing 2026 is not an invitation to become a more polished version of yourself; it is a call to return to who you already are: awake, aligned, and fully alive. So often, growth is framed as self-improvement, as though we are projects to be corrected or problems to be solved. Yet true growth is not about fixing what is “wrong,” but about becoming more deeply connected to what is true. When authenticity becomes the anchor, our energy naturally aligns with our values and passions, and the exhausting pursuit of perfection begins to soften. From this place, joy, meaningful connection, and purpose-led achievements emerge, not because we tried harder to be better, but because we allowed ourselves to be real. Beginnings carry a quiet, sacred power: each year, each season, even each breath offers the possibility of renewal. When we meet these moments with presence and intention, pausing to listen inwardly before rushing ahead, we create a foundation that can hold uncertainty without fear. We do not need guaranteed outcomes or flawless plans; we need clarity of values and the courage to trust the unfolding. From there, we move forward grounded, open, and curious, allowing life to shape itself around who we are becoming. Practical Steps to Start the Year Aligned 1. Reflect on Your Core Values: Identify what matters most to you. Which principles guide your decisions and actions? Let these serve as the foundation for your intentions. 2. Ask Meaningful Questions: “What excites me because it is authentically mine?” “Where do I feel most alive?” These questions help distinguish between external expectations and internal calling. 3. Write Down Your Intentions: Capture your expansive, luminous goals — not as obligations, but as invitations to explore your potential. 4. Prioritize Energy Over Output: Choose pursuits that energize you, not merely tasks that look impressive. 5. Create Space for Pauses: Schedule moments to step back, reflect, and adjust. These pauses maintain alignment and prevent burnout. 6. Embrace Expansion: Allow yourself to dream beyond the narrow limits of “achievable.” Big visions cultivate creativity, resilience, and inspiration. Walking Boldly Into 2026 With clarity and alignment, stepping into 2026 becomes an act of courage. Excitement hums in your bones, not because of pressure, but because of resonance. Each action is purposeful, each pursuit intentional. The new year transforms from a checklist into a canvas. A space where imagination, joy, and authenticity can flourish. As you navigate the year ahead, remember: beginnings are not about fixing what is broken. They are about becoming more fully who you are. They invite you to shed the weight of others’ expectations, to honor your own energy, and to move boldly into your possibilities. Pause. Listen. Align. Expand. And step into 2026 with a sense of wonder, courage, and intention. This is your year to nurture your authentic self, to hold luminous visions, and to live fully awake. This is your year to remember that each beginning carries the rare magic of rebirth: an opportunity to rewrite the story and breathe new life into your journey. To support this unfolding, we offer 3 new spaces that guide and hold you gently: Ground and Grow invites you to release what no longer serves you and reconnect with your inner self. Aligned helps you uncover your core values and step into what truly matters with intention. The Field is a weekly intimate Family & Systemic Constellation gathering. A quiet, guided space to explore relationship and systemic dynamics and patterns that may be shaping your life. Through shared presence, we bring clarity and movement to what feels stuck. All workshops and meetups are quiet invitations to reflect, realign, and step into the new year in harmony with your deepest truths. See you in the circle.

A Year of Growth

By Aki Tsukui (Director of Wellness, Leadership & Systemic Coach, Sound Therapist and Breathwork facilitator) • December 1, 2025
As the year draws to a close, I find myself returning to the heart again and again. This year has been one of depth, gentleness, and profound inner shifts. For many, it wasn’t about chasing more but about softening into what’s already within. Through stillness or release, courage or quiet surrender, the path was deeply personal and profoundly shared. As I look back, my heart is full of gratitude for every soul who chose growth with openness and curiosity. Together, we shaped spaces of truth, safety, and heartfelt reconnection. Nurture Your Heart We began the year with Nurture Your Heart , a monthly workshop that invited both women and men to pause, reflect, and reconnect with their emotional landscape. It was a powerful reminder that growth begins with presence. In this space, we witnessed the heart’s full range: grief, joy, anger, longing, and allowed it all to be felt and held without judgment. Participants released years of emotional tension, reclaimed forgotten parts of themselves, and discovered a deeper sense of self-compassion. It was an honor to witness both men and women open, express, and support one another. We were reminded that there is strength in softness, and that being seen in our wholeness is one of the most healing gifts we can give and receive. Self-Mastery Another most meaningful experiences for me was co-facilitating our newly launched Self-Mastery Workshop . Creating a space for leaders to pause and realign with their deeper values felt especially powerful. The Harvard Business Review statistic that 95% of people believe they are self-aware but only 10–15% truly are resonated strongly throughout the day. I saw how much leaders yearn not only for clarity but also for the ability to lead with intention and alignment, rather than from autopilot or external pressure. What touched me most was witnessing the transformation that unfolded when we combined evidence-based leadership tools with grounding practices like breathwork, visualization, and reflection. The Energy Leadership™️ Assessment offered insight into personal patterns, while the holistic practices created space for participants to reconnect with themselves. By the end of the day, there was a palpable sense of clarity, alignment, and renewed purpose. It reminded me that self-mastery is ultimately about living and leading in harmony with our values, choosing, again and again, to act with intention and to align with who we truly are. Family Constellation: Seeing the Unseen and Let the Love Flow One of the most profound themes this year was the collective and individual journey that unfolded through our Family and Systemic Constellation workshops. This modality reveals the invisible threads that bind us to our family systems, often in ways we may not be consciously aware of. Patterns of suffering, disconnection, or limitation are not always ours alone to carry; they may belong to generations before us. In constellation work, we step into a sacred field where ancestral stories, unresolved grief, and hidden loyalties can surface gently and respectfully. Through this work, clients found relief from emotional burdens they couldn’t quite name, rediscovering belonging, compassion, and strength in their lineage. It was beautiful to witness how much can shift, not just in individuals, but in entire systems, when one person chooses to see with new eyes and feel with an open heart. Coaching, Sound Journey & Breathwork: Three Portals to the Self This year also offered a beautiful unfolding through three separate yet interwoven paths: Coaching, Sound Healing, and Yin Breathwork. Each of these modalities provided a different gateway into the inner world: meeting people where they were and allowing healing to unfold in organic, embodied ways. Coaching : This year, coaching became a space for profound personal and professional transformation. Whether I was working with individuals seeking emotional clarity or leaders and professionals navigating growth, conflict, or burnout, one thing remained consistent: coaching held up a mirror to what truly matters. It created room to pause, reflect, and reconnect, not just to goals, but to values. Time and again, I saw how high performance can mask deeper needs for alignment, meaning, and authentic leadership. Together, we untangled those threads. We built clear visions and action plans grounded in who my clients truly are and how they want to lead. Now, each client walks forward with clarity, intention, and a roadmap that aligns with their core values so they can lead and live on purpose. Coaching this year reminded me: it’s not just about doing more, but becoming more aligned, more grounded, and more fully yourself. Sound Healing : This year, Sound Healing became more than rest. It became a catalyst for deep inner shifts. Through the resonance of gongs, singing bowls, crystal bowls and chimes, clients were able to release tension held in the body, quiet the noise of the mind, and access a deeper state of awareness. The sound gently bypassed conscious thought and reached the places words couldn’t. Many described it as a feeling of “coming home” to themselves or being “held by something larger.” And the impact was undeniable. Clients left feeling lighter, clearer, more grounded. Across every session, the shift was evident: from overwhelm to ease, from disconnection to presence, from holding on to letting go. Sound didn’t just soothe. It transformed. This reminded me of the incredible intelligence of sound. How its vibrations carry the power to reach beyond words, to touch the unseen layers of our being, and to awaken healing from within. Sound is not just heard; it is felt, remembered, and lived. This deep knowing will continue to inspire and shape my journey ahead. Yin Breathwork : We created a gentle yet profound space for emotional release. Drawing from rebirthing traditions, Yin breathwork sessions invited clients to breathe through old patterns, energetic blockages, and emotions held within the body. The process was often deeply cathartic: tears, laughter, insight, and stillness naturally arose as the breath guided the way and the body felt safe to surrender. The sessions supported the release of what no longer served whether subtle energetic blocks, long-held tension, or trauma gently held beneath the surface. As breath moved through the body, it invited healing and renewal at a deep level, bringing clarity, relief, and a renewed sense of freedom. This year, Yin Breathwork reminded me of the quiet strength found in surrender: the way breath can gently connect with the subconscious, opening hidden layers beyond the reach of words. It showed how allowing ourselves to feel fully, with openness and compassion, can lead to profound healing and transformation. Trusting the breath is trusting the wisdom held deep within. The Path Ahead: Renewal & Expansion Personal growth is not a straight line. It’s layered. It spirals. It deepens with time. If this year has taught me anything, it’s this: our bodies carry wisdom, our hearts hold courage, and we are all capable of anything when we feel safe, supported, and ready. As we step into a new year, I hope you’ll carry these reminders: • You are not behind. • Rest is productive. • You are worthy of joy and ease. • Your journey is your own and it is enough. Coming in 2026: New Offerings, Deeper Connection Looking ahead, we’re thrilled to be launching new workshops and retreats in 2026, created especially for individuals, groups, and couples. These offerings will continue to honour the mind, body, heart, and spirit supporting emotional growth, relational healing, and spiritual awakening. Whether you're a leader seeking greater alignment, a couple longing for deeper connection, or an individual ready to step into your next chapter, we invite you to be part of this next evolution. Thank you for allowing me to walk beside you this year whether in a circle, a constellation, on a breathwork mat, in a coaching room, within the vibrations of sound, or in a quiet moment of resonance. We’ve grown together, expanded our awareness, and returned to ourselves in deeper ways. With love and gratitude, Aki Tsukui Co-Founder, Elemental Wellness