Counselling Blog

When we hear the word intimacy , we often think of sex: touch, desire, romance. Yet true intimacy lives far beyond these moments. It is felt in silence, in a shared glance, and in the quiet courage it takes to be fully present with yourself, with another, and with life itself. Real intimacy does not begin by reaching outward. It begins within. In the rhythm of your breath. In the pulse of life moving through your body. In the willingness to meet yourself honestly and gently. Meeting Yourself The deepest intimacy is the relationship you cultivate with your own heart. To meet yourself is to witness your thoughts, contradictions, joys, and aches without judgment or urgency. Can you stay present with fear rather than turning away? Can you allow sadness to settle in your chest and still honor it as meaningful? Can you sense the subtle movement of breath and energy within you? In moments of stillness and awareness, we often discover how much of ourselves we have learned to hide: emotions pushed aside, sensations ignored, patterns inherited and carried unconsciously. Yet every doorway to genuine connection already exists inside you. When you reclaim your inner world, you reconnect with the source from which all intimacy flows. Being Felt Emotional intimacy is not something we explain; it is something we allow. It lives in presence in the unguarded moment, the pause that stretches, the vulnerability that remains uncovered. To be emotionally intimate is to let the quiet pulse of your inner life meet another without the need to justify or repair it. Breath becomes a bridge, gently moving awareness between your inner world and the shared space. In this soft surrender, the heart remembers that it is safe to open, to soften, to simply be. Being Known Psychological intimacy asks for the courage to see and name the patterns that shape how we move through the world: our fears, defenses, and habitual ways of relating. “I withdraw when I feel unseen.” “I hesitate to ask for support because I fear being a burden.” These patterns rarely belong only to us. They often arise from family systems, ancestral histories, and cultural conditioning, unseen forces carried across generations. When we begin to recognize these influences, compassion naturally deepens. We stop judging ourselves and instead meet our patterns with curiosity and care, honoring the lineage that lives within us. Meeting Beyond Roles Spiritual intimacy emerges when roles and narratives fall away. It is found in the space between breaths, in shared silence, and in the quiet recognition of essence meeting essence. It may appear while sitting together in stillness, in a gaze that needs no explanation, or while walking side by side through ordinary moments that suddenly feel sacred. When attention softens and awareness deepens, intimacy arises naturally. Breath, presence, and a wider systemic awareness allow us to meet one another with greater freedom, depth, and reverence. Intimacy Beyond Another You do not need another person to access this depth of closeness. Intimacy can be cultivated entirely within. In moments of stillness, you may begin to honor every layer of your being. As your breath deepens, its rhythm may echo the larger cycles of life. Subtle currents of energy become more perceptible, as does the quiet presence of ancestral threads shaping your experience. When inner intimacy is nurtured, relationships transform. Connection is no longer about filling a void, but about resonance: two beings meeting from wholeness rather than need. The Sacredness of Vulnerability To be intimate is to be seen and being seen can feel risky. Old wounds, inherited fears, and unmet needs often surface, making closeness feel uncomfortable. Yet vulnerability is the doorway. Breath and embodied awareness gently anchor you in the present, reminding you that you are alive, supported, and connected. As presence meets presence, intimacy deepens naturally. Intimacy as a Way of Being Intimacy is not something to earn or achieve. It is a state of presence, openness, and deep respect for life. It lives in meeting yourself with compassion, keeping your heart soft even in the presence of fear, holding space for another without expectation, and recognizing the sacred thread that runs through all connection. As you move through the days ahead, you might gently notice where intimacy is already presentin your breath, in moments of quiet honesty with yourself, in the spaces between words. There is nothing to strive for and nothing to fix. Intimacy is already here, waiting to be met. Warmly, Aki Tsukui

Chemistry is often treated as a decisive force in romantic life. When it is present, people feel justified in leaning in. When it is absent, even after a pleasant and promising date, interest tends to stall. Chemistry appears to offer clarity, but what it actually provides is something narrower: an early signal, powerful in its immediacy, yet limited in what it can reliably tell us. Most people recognise this tension intuitively. They know chemistry matters, but they also sense that it does not explain everything that makes a relationship viable or sustaining. And yet, in practice, chemistry is frequently asked to carry more authority than it deserves, shaping decisions about who to pursue, who to dismiss, and how long to remain invested. What is chemistry? In relationship research, romantic chemistry is recognised as a multifaceted, emergent experience. It can include attraction, emotional connection, interactive engagement, and a sense of mutual responsiveness. Importantly, chemistry is not viewed as a fixed trait residing in one person, but as something that arises between two people through interaction. When researchers examine how people themselves describe chemistry, however, a more specific pattern emerges. A recent qualitative study published in Behavioral Sciences, found that while participants acknowledged chemistry could involve multiple elements, the most commonly cited and immediately recognised experience was an instantaneous spark - a felt sense of connection, intensity, or attraction early in an interaction, rather than a gradual assessment of compatibility or emotional safety (Devenport et al., 2025). Why the spark feels so convincing That immediate spark carries weight because it is physiological as much as psychological. Early romantic chemistry is associated with activation of the brain’s reward and motivation systems, including increased dopamine and norepinephrine, which are neurochemicals involved in focus, pursuit, and salience. The body feels energised, attention narrows, and the other person begins to stand out in a way that feels meaningful. This response is not irrational. From an evolutionary perspective, rapid bonding had adaptive value. From a learning perspective, our nervous systems are shaped by repeated relational experiences. Attachment research helps explain why this kind of activation can feel meaningful so quickly. Our nervous systems learn through experience what closeness feels like, and over time they become efficient at recognising familiar patterns. When past intimacy involved emotional intensity or heightened engagement, the body may respond swiftly to similar cues, even before conscious evaluation has a chance to catch up. (Mikulincer et al., 2020). 1Chemistry, then, is neither imagined nor accidental. But it is also not a verdict. It is a signal that arrives early and speaks loudly. When chemistry starts doing more than it should Problems arise when chemistry shifts from being an opening signal to becoming the deciding factor. When people over-index on chemistry, two familiar patterns tend to emerge. In one, the absence of chemistry limits pursuit. Dates can go well. Conversation can flow. The other person may be emotionally available, respectful, even aligned with what someone says they want. And yet, without chemistry, interest stalls. Many people describe this not as rejection, but as resignation: “I know they’re good for me, but I don’t feel anything.” The relationship does not end; it simply never begins. In other cases, the opposite happens. A relationship starts with strong chemistry. People invest quickly and overlook early warning signs. That initial pull shapes the decision to begin the relationship and continues to guide it even if doubts surface. Concerns are registered, but they carry less weight. Over time, it becomes clear how much chemistry has been steering judgment from the beginning. Because the nervous system is activated, the mind works to maintain coherence, often finding reasons to persist rather than pause. In both cases, chemistry is doing more work than it should either preventing people from staying curious enough for other forms of connection to develop or pulling people forward too quickly. What chemistry can and cannot tell you Research consistently shows that long-term relationship satisfaction is far more strongly predicted by responsiveness, repair after conflict, and emotional attunement than by early intensity alone (Overall & Lemay, 2021). Chemistry does not reliably predict these capacities. Chemistry can tell you that your system is activated, your attention is engaged, and something feels compelling or familiar. What it cannot tell you is how conflict will be handled, whether needs will be met consistently, or whether emotional safety will deepen or erode over time. From a nervous-system perspective, this distinction matters. Stephen Porges’ work on Polyvagal Theory describes how the autonomic nervous system continuously scans for cues of safety and threat, shaping whether we feel socially open, vigilant, or withdrawn. When systems are accustomed to high arousal, intensity can be misread as connection and calm can register as disinterest. In such cases, chemistry reflects nervous-system conditioning more than relational compatibility (Porges, 2022). 2The consequences of over-indexing on chemistry often appear later, in hindsight. When chemistry dominates judgment, it can obscure both warning signs and possibilities. Chemistry as one voice among others A more grounded way to relate to chemistry is to treat it as one voice in a larger conversation. It deserves attention, but it should not be allowed to dominate the discussion or determine the outcome on its own. Qualities such as emotional safety, mutual responsiveness, values alignment, and repair after conflict tend to speak more slowly. They require time and exposure to reveal themselves. When chemistry drowns them out, decisions are made with incomplete information. Wanting chemistry is not the problem. The issue arises when it is allowed to outweigh every other form of relational information. Chemistry can open the door, spark curiosity, and make connection feel alive, but sustaining love depends on quieter, more consistent signals - emotional presence, repair, respect, and reliability over time. The goal is not to mute the spark, but to place it in context. Chemistry speaks loudly, but wisdom often emerges only after the initial intensity had time to settle.  References Devenport, L., et al. (2025). Exploring lay understandings of romantic chemistry. Behavioral Sciences, MDPI. https://www.mdpi.com/3592440 Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P. R., & Ein-Dor, T. (2020). Attachment orientations and emotion regulation in close relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 86–91. Overall, N. C., & Lemay, E. P. (2021). Attachment, responsiveness, and well-being in romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 43, 110–115. Porges, S. W. (2022). Polyvagal theory: A science of safety. Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience, 16, 871227. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2022.871227 3

Welcome to 2026 (You’ve Already Landed) By the time you’re reading this, we are already in 2026. No countdown. No confetti. No dramatic soundtrack. Just you living, showing up, doing your best. Whether you realised it or not, you crossed into this new year carrying something with you. Not a suitcase. Not a planner. A carry-on . The Invisible Luggage We All Bring Your carry-on isn’t visible but it’s always with you. Inside it might be: • Expectations you didn’t consciously choose • Emotional habits you’ve perfected over time • Unfinished conversations (with others… and yourself) • Coping strategies that once helped but now weigh you down And also… because let’s be fair • Resilience • Hard-earned wisdom • Boundaries you finally learned to set • Strength you didn’t know you had Not everything in your carry-on is a burden. But not everything belongs on this journey either. We Don’t Usually Check Our Carry-On Most of us keep moving. We assume: • “This is just how I am.” • “This has always worked for me.” • “I’ll deal with it later.” But over time, the carry-on gets heavier because we get busy “chasing”. What once felt manageable becomes: • Emotional fatigue • Reactivity • Quiet resentment • A sense of being constantly ‘on’ And we wonder why rest doesn’t quite restore us. A Gentle Question for 2026 Pause for a moment and ask yourself: What am I still carrying that I no longer need? Awareness is the first step. Not everything has to be unpacked all at once. What remains unchecked often: • Shapes our reactions • Influences our relationships • Determines how safe, calm or overwhelmed we feel Letting Go Isn’t Losing, It’s Choosing People don’t struggle because they’re broken. They struggle because they’re overloaded . Letting go doesn’t mean dismissing your past. It means honouring it without letting it run the present. In 2026, growth may look less like adding tools and more like: • Unlearning • Softening • Creating space What Deserves Space in Your Carry-On? As this year unfolds, consider revisiting your inner luggage. What’s worth keeping close? • Self-compassion • Curiosity • Honest communication • Support (yes, including professional support) What might be ready to stay behind? • Guilt that no longer teaches • Hyper-independence that isolates • Expectations that were never yours to carry Mental and emotional wellbeing isn’t about arriving lighter overnight. It’s about learning to: • Check in with yourself regularly • Notice when the load feels too heavy • Ask for support before exhaustion sets in Therapy, coaching and nurturing workshops offer a space to gently unpack without judgement, without rushing and without needing to have it all figured out. Moving Through 2026, Intentionally You are allowed to move forward differently this year. Not faster. Not harder. Just more consciously . So, as you continue into 2026, take a quiet moment to ask: What’s in my carry-on and am I ready to travel lighter? Because sometimes, the most meaningful shift isn’t a new destination. It’s what you choose to carry with you along the way.

The beginning of a new year often comes wrapped in a rush of excitement. There’s a buzz in the air. A sense of possibility of fresh pages waiting to be written. But that excitement, if left unchecked, can quickly turn into pressure. We’re told to set goals, make resolutions, and “improve” ourselves, yet often by February, the sparkle fades. The reason is simple: excitement is sustainable only when it is rooted in alignment, not obligation. When our intentions emerge from what truly matters to us, they generate energy rather than drain it. They fuel us. They awaken us to the possibilities that already exist within our reach. Conversely, when our actions are motivated solely by external expectations or a sense of duty, we burn out. We chase after shiny goals that glitter with promise but leave us exhausted at the finish line. This is why pausing at the start of the year matters so much. A moment of stillness allows us to ask critical questions: What is genuinely mine to pursue? What sparks joy, curiosity, or a sense of expansion within me? Without this reflection, we rush forward blindly, often mistaking momentum for meaningful progress. With it, we step into the work, projects, and relationships that resonate with our deepest truths. We engage in what feels expansive, alive, and authentic. The Power of Alignment Over Obligation Alignment is not about perfection. It’s not about meeting someone else’s standard or following the checklist of achievements society says we should pursue. Alignment is about listening deeply to ourselves and honoring what resonates. It is understanding that every choice, every step, every intention carries energy and that energy is precious. When it is aligned with our values, it sustains us. When it is misaligned, it depletes us. Consider the difference between doing something because it is “expected” versus doing it because it feels like a calling. When you choose the former, you may check boxes, hit deadlines, or achieve milestones, but often, it comes at the expense of your vitality. You may find yourself asking, “Why am I doing this?” Alignment transforms that dynamic. It turns effort into expression and action into joy. The Pause: A Sacred Practice Pausing is more than a moment of rest. It is a sacred practice that allows us to realign with our intentions. It is a deliberate step away from noise, distraction, and the habit of reactive living. In that pause, clarity emerges. We gain perspective. We recognize which pursuits belong to us and which are borrowed from others’ expectations. To pause effectively, consider journaling, mindful reflection, or even quiet meditation. Ask yourself: Which activities make me feel most alive? Which projects excite me because they are authentically mine? Where do I feel stretched in ways that are energizing rather than draining? These questions are not trivial. They form the blueprint for a year that feels full, meaningful, and nourishing. Dare to Expand Your Vision Once we have paused and reflected, the next step is expansion. The temptation at the start of a year is often to shrink our vision into checklists, to define success narrowly, and to prioritize “achievable” goals over inspiring ones. But true growth, the kind that stirs our imagination and nourishes our soul, requires courage. It asks us to dream bigger, to hold intentions that feel luminous and expansive. Expansion is not about recklessness; it is about daring to stretch ourselves in directions that feel right. It is about holding space for potential, curiosity, and creativity. The universe gives us beginnings as an invitation to explore what is possible, to rewrite old stories, and to breathe new life into the chapters we are yet to write. Becoming, Not Fixing 2026 is not an invitation to become a more polished version of yourself; it is a call to return to who you already are: awake, aligned, and fully alive. So often, growth is framed as self-improvement, as though we are projects to be corrected or problems to be solved. Yet true growth is not about fixing what is “wrong,” but about becoming more deeply connected to what is true. When authenticity becomes the anchor, our energy naturally aligns with our values and passions, and the exhausting pursuit of perfection begins to soften. From this place, joy, meaningful connection, and purpose-led achievements emerge, not because we tried harder to be better, but because we allowed ourselves to be real. Beginnings carry a quiet, sacred power: each year, each season, even each breath offers the possibility of renewal. When we meet these moments with presence and intention, pausing to listen inwardly before rushing ahead, we create a foundation that can hold uncertainty without fear. We do not need guaranteed outcomes or flawless plans; we need clarity of values and the courage to trust the unfolding. From there, we move forward grounded, open, and curious, allowing life to shape itself around who we are becoming. Practical Steps to Start the Year Aligned 1. Reflect on Your Core Values: Identify what matters most to you. Which principles guide your decisions and actions? Let these serve as the foundation for your intentions. 2. Ask Meaningful Questions: “What excites me because it is authentically mine?” “Where do I feel most alive?” These questions help distinguish between external expectations and internal calling. 3. Write Down Your Intentions: Capture your expansive, luminous goals — not as obligations, but as invitations to explore your potential. 4. Prioritize Energy Over Output: Choose pursuits that energize you, not merely tasks that look impressive. 5. Create Space for Pauses: Schedule moments to step back, reflect, and adjust. These pauses maintain alignment and prevent burnout. 6. Embrace Expansion: Allow yourself to dream beyond the narrow limits of “achievable.” Big visions cultivate creativity, resilience, and inspiration. Walking Boldly Into 2026 With clarity and alignment, stepping into 2026 becomes an act of courage. Excitement hums in your bones, not because of pressure, but because of resonance. Each action is purposeful, each pursuit intentional. The new year transforms from a checklist into a canvas. A space where imagination, joy, and authenticity can flourish. As you navigate the year ahead, remember: beginnings are not about fixing what is broken. They are about becoming more fully who you are. They invite you to shed the weight of others’ expectations, to honor your own energy, and to move boldly into your possibilities. Pause. Listen. Align. Expand. And step into 2026 with a sense of wonder, courage, and intention. This is your year to nurture your authentic self, to hold luminous visions, and to live fully awake. This is your year to remember that each beginning carries the rare magic of rebirth: an opportunity to rewrite the story and breathe new life into your journey. To support this unfolding, we offer 3 new spaces that guide and hold you gently: Ground and Grow invites you to release what no longer serves you and reconnect with your inner self. Aligned helps you uncover your core values and step into what truly matters with intention. The Field is a weekly intimate Family & Systemic Constellation gathering. A quiet, guided space to explore relationship and systemic dynamics and patterns that may be shaping your life. Through shared presence, we bring clarity and movement to what feels stuck. All workshops and meetups are quiet invitations to reflect, realign, and step into the new year in harmony with your deepest truths. See you in the circle.

As the year draws to a close, I find myself returning to the heart again and again. This year has been one of depth, gentleness, and profound inner shifts. For many, it wasn’t about chasing more but about softening into what’s already within. Through stillness or release, courage or quiet surrender, the path was deeply personal and profoundly shared. As I look back, my heart is full of gratitude for every soul who chose growth with openness and curiosity. Together, we shaped spaces of truth, safety, and heartfelt reconnection. Nurture Your Heart We began the year with Nurture Your Heart , a monthly workshop that invited both women and men to pause, reflect, and reconnect with their emotional landscape. It was a powerful reminder that growth begins with presence. In this space, we witnessed the heart’s full range: grief, joy, anger, longing, and allowed it all to be felt and held without judgment. Participants released years of emotional tension, reclaimed forgotten parts of themselves, and discovered a deeper sense of self-compassion. It was an honor to witness both men and women open, express, and support one another. We were reminded that there is strength in softness, and that being seen in our wholeness is one of the most healing gifts we can give and receive. Self-Mastery Another most meaningful experiences for me was co-facilitating our newly launched Self-Mastery Workshop . Creating a space for leaders to pause and realign with their deeper values felt especially powerful. The Harvard Business Review statistic that 95% of people believe they are self-aware but only 10–15% truly are resonated strongly throughout the day. I saw how much leaders yearn not only for clarity but also for the ability to lead with intention and alignment, rather than from autopilot or external pressure. What touched me most was witnessing the transformation that unfolded when we combined evidence-based leadership tools with grounding practices like breathwork, visualization, and reflection. The Energy Leadership™️ Assessment offered insight into personal patterns, while the holistic practices created space for participants to reconnect with themselves. By the end of the day, there was a palpable sense of clarity, alignment, and renewed purpose. It reminded me that self-mastery is ultimately about living and leading in harmony with our values, choosing, again and again, to act with intention and to align with who we truly are. Family Constellation: Seeing the Unseen and Let the Love Flow One of the most profound themes this year was the collective and individual journey that unfolded through our Family and Systemic Constellation workshops. This modality reveals the invisible threads that bind us to our family systems, often in ways we may not be consciously aware of. Patterns of suffering, disconnection, or limitation are not always ours alone to carry; they may belong to generations before us. In constellation work, we step into a sacred field where ancestral stories, unresolved grief, and hidden loyalties can surface gently and respectfully. Through this work, clients found relief from emotional burdens they couldn’t quite name, rediscovering belonging, compassion, and strength in their lineage. It was beautiful to witness how much can shift, not just in individuals, but in entire systems, when one person chooses to see with new eyes and feel with an open heart. Coaching, Sound Journey & Breathwork: Three Portals to the Self This year also offered a beautiful unfolding through three separate yet interwoven paths: Coaching, Sound Healing, and Yin Breathwork. Each of these modalities provided a different gateway into the inner world: meeting people where they were and allowing healing to unfold in organic, embodied ways. Coaching : This year, coaching became a space for profound personal and professional transformation. Whether I was working with individuals seeking emotional clarity or leaders and professionals navigating growth, conflict, or burnout, one thing remained consistent: coaching held up a mirror to what truly matters. It created room to pause, reflect, and reconnect, not just to goals, but to values. Time and again, I saw how high performance can mask deeper needs for alignment, meaning, and authentic leadership. Together, we untangled those threads. We built clear visions and action plans grounded in who my clients truly are and how they want to lead. Now, each client walks forward with clarity, intention, and a roadmap that aligns with their core values so they can lead and live on purpose. Coaching this year reminded me: it’s not just about doing more, but becoming more aligned, more grounded, and more fully yourself. Sound Healing : This year, Sound Healing became more than rest. It became a catalyst for deep inner shifts. Through the resonance of gongs, singing bowls, crystal bowls and chimes, clients were able to release tension held in the body, quiet the noise of the mind, and access a deeper state of awareness. The sound gently bypassed conscious thought and reached the places words couldn’t. Many described it as a feeling of “coming home” to themselves or being “held by something larger.” And the impact was undeniable. Clients left feeling lighter, clearer, more grounded. Across every session, the shift was evident: from overwhelm to ease, from disconnection to presence, from holding on to letting go. Sound didn’t just soothe. It transformed. This reminded me of the incredible intelligence of sound. How its vibrations carry the power to reach beyond words, to touch the unseen layers of our being, and to awaken healing from within. Sound is not just heard; it is felt, remembered, and lived. This deep knowing will continue to inspire and shape my journey ahead. Yin Breathwork : We created a gentle yet profound space for emotional release. Drawing from rebirthing traditions, Yin breathwork sessions invited clients to breathe through old patterns, energetic blockages, and emotions held within the body. The process was often deeply cathartic: tears, laughter, insight, and stillness naturally arose as the breath guided the way and the body felt safe to surrender. The sessions supported the release of what no longer served whether subtle energetic blocks, long-held tension, or trauma gently held beneath the surface. As breath moved through the body, it invited healing and renewal at a deep level, bringing clarity, relief, and a renewed sense of freedom. This year, Yin Breathwork reminded me of the quiet strength found in surrender: the way breath can gently connect with the subconscious, opening hidden layers beyond the reach of words. It showed how allowing ourselves to feel fully, with openness and compassion, can lead to profound healing and transformation. Trusting the breath is trusting the wisdom held deep within. The Path Ahead: Renewal & Expansion Personal growth is not a straight line. It’s layered. It spirals. It deepens with time. If this year has taught me anything, it’s this: our bodies carry wisdom, our hearts hold courage, and we are all capable of anything when we feel safe, supported, and ready. As we step into a new year, I hope you’ll carry these reminders: • You are not behind. • Rest is productive. • You are worthy of joy and ease. • Your journey is your own and it is enough. Coming in 2026: New Offerings, Deeper Connection Looking ahead, we’re thrilled to be launching new workshops and retreats in 2026, created especially for individuals, groups, and couples. These offerings will continue to honour the mind, body, heart, and spirit supporting emotional growth, relational healing, and spiritual awakening. Whether you're a leader seeking greater alignment, a couple longing for deeper connection, or an individual ready to step into your next chapter, we invite you to be part of this next evolution. Thank you for allowing me to walk beside you this year whether in a circle, a constellation, on a breathwork mat, in a coaching room, within the vibrations of sound, or in a quiet moment of resonance. We’ve grown together, expanded our awareness, and returned to ourselves in deeper ways. With love and gratitude, Aki Tsukui Co-Founder, Elemental Wellness

At Elemental Wellness, we believe that healing is not a gendered experience. Healing is for humans. It happens when we allow space for the unsaid, the unseen, and the unfelt to emerge safely, gently, and without judgment. While women have often led the way in emotional exploration, more and more men are beginning to return to their hearts in search of deeper meaning, emotional freedom, and wholeness. This movement toward inner connection is quiet yet powerful. It reflects a shift in how men are redefining strength, no longer as suppression, but as presence. Recently, my fellow coach, Praveen Kaur, and I had the honor of hosting our monthly workshop Nurture Your Heart . During this session, a man courageously stepped into the space of vulnerability. A space often unfamiliar, yet deeply needed. His presence was grounding and symbolic. It reminded us that the male heart, too, longs for safety, softness, and connection. That when held with care, the masculine energy doesn’t dissolve into weakness. It melts into authenticity. The Unseen Weight Men Carry Culturally, many men are raised to be the protectors, providers, and rational thinkers. They’re taught to be strong, stoic, and solution-oriented. From a young age, the message is clear: be dependable, be productive, be in control. But few are ever asked: How do you feel? What do you need right now? Who are you beneath all the roles you perform? This lack of emotional permission often results in quiet suffering. For many men, anger is more acceptable than sadness. Numbness feels safer than vulnerability. And silence becomes a coping mechanism. A way to keep the inner chaos contained. Yet this emotional suppression has consequences. The cost of disconnection is immense: anxiety, burnout, physical tension, emotional withdrawal, and relationship breakdowns. Beneath these symptoms lies a universal truth: men have hearts that feel deeply. They, too, long to be seen, to rest, to release. When that truth is denied, the result is not resilience, but exhaustion. When it’s embraced, the result is transformation. The Session: Safe, Somatic, Intentional Our Nurture Your Heart workshops are designed as intentional pauses in the noise of everyday life: a space to breathe, release, and reconnect. For this particular session, we began with gentle grounding exercises, guiding our participant to anchor into his body through slow, conscious breath. The emphasis was not on “doing it right,” but on allowing. Allowing breath to move freely, allowing thoughts to quiet, and allowing the body to remember safety. Before we began, we asked a simple but powerful question: “How do you want to feel at the end of this session?” Without hesitation, he responded: “Calm my inner voice. Regain a sense of calmness and have mental peace and stability.” These words were not merely goals. They were intentions, anchors that set the emotional tone for the session. They echoed a common theme I often hear in sessions with men: a longing to quiet the mind, settle the nervous system, and return to inner stillness. As the session unfolded, his breath began to guide him inward. Through sound and energetic vibration, we worked gently to release the tension stored in his chest: the space where so many men hold unspoken worries and expectations. What surfaced was not dramatic, but deeply organic: a subtle softening, a quiet recognition of emotions long set aside. In that stillness, the body began to speak. The Power of Intention The question, “How do I want to feel at the end of this session?” , often appears simple, yet it carries profound transformative power. In this case, the intention became a mantra: • Calm my inner voice • Regain a sense of calmness • Have peace He repeated these words throughout the session, not from a place of desperation, but devotion. It was as if each repetition was a permission slip to be gentle with himself to remember that peace is not a luxury, but a right. By the end of the session, something had softened. His movements were slower, his breathing deeper. His face reflected quiet relief: the kind that comes not from fixing, but from feeling. He smiled, not just with his lips, but with his whole being. It was a reminder that when we create space for intention, healing follows naturally. The body knows how to return to balance when given time and safety. Witnessing Male Vulnerability Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with many male clients: C-suites, executives, entrepreneurs, fathers, sons, and creatives. Despite their differences, there’s a shared thread among them: a longing to be whole. Each time a man allows himself to be vulnerable, I am reminded of the immense courage it takes to unlearn decades of conditioning. These are not weak men. They are deeply reflective, resilient, and often incredibly hard on themselves. They’ve been taught to be logical, but not always intuitive. Assertive, but not expressive. Strategic, but not soft. And yet, when given permission to express fully, they often go deeper than they ever expected. One client once said, “I didn’t know I needed this.” Another told me after a coaching session, “I haven’t felt this peaceful in years.” The release that happens in these spaces isn’t just emotional. It’s somatic. Their bodies exhale. Their shoulders drop. Their hearts open. They stop performing and start being. And what they gain is not just momentary relief, but a new relationship with themselves. They begin to trust their own emotional wisdom. They communicate more clearly, connect more deeply, and lead from a place of groundedness. It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who they are beneath the noise. Holding Space for Men This work is not about “fixing” men. It’s about meeting them exactly where they are with tenderness, curiosity, and respect. We don’t ask them to become less masculine. We invite them to expand what masculinity can include: softness, sensitivity, stillness, and spirit. At Elemental Wellness, we believe the heart doesn’t need convincing. It needs permission. When men feel safe enough to lay down their armor, something extraordinary happens. They begin to reconnect not just with others, but with themselves. The Nurture Your Heart session for this client wasn’t about solving problems. It was about creating a sacred pause: a moment where he could simply be . No expectations, no judgment, no performance. In that pause, peace wasn’t something to strive for; it became something to remember. We often forget that healing doesn’t always come with grand gestures or dramatic breakthroughs. Sometimes, it begins with a single breath. Sometimes, it begins with saying, “I’m tired.” Sometimes, it begins with being seen. And in those moments, transformation unfolds quietly. An Invitation To the men who are holding it all together: this space is for you. You don’t need to say much. You don’t need to have the right words. Just start by showing up for yourself. At Elemental Wellness, we honor the fullness of your being. Whether you identify as strong, sensitive, guarded, or grounded, come as you are. We’ll meet you there.

How Are You, Really? October marks a natural turning point in the year. The year has substantially passed and is coming to an end, and there’s a quiet invitation to slow down, take stock and turn inward. It’s a time of transition—a time that reflects what many of us feel but rarely give ourselves the time and space to acknowledge or process. This makes October a fitting month for World Mental Health Day , observed each year on October 10th . While it’s an important time for raising awareness globally, it’s also a deeply personal reminder: our mental health matters, and we need to take ownership to prioritize the same as intentionally as we do our physical health. With the pre-occupation of day-to-day life, where productivity and performance often take centre stage, we can easily lose sight of how we’re really feeling and what we really need. This October, I invite you to slow down.
Take a deep breath.
And ask yourself: How am I, really? Mental Health Is Everyday Health Mental health is not a luxury. Neither is it something reserved for people in crisis or with mental illness. It’s something we all own, and something we all need to look after and maintain—just like our physical wellbeing. Some days, our mental health feels steady and clear. Other days, it may feel shaky, foggy, or heavy. That fluctuation is normal. But if you’ve noticed that the tough days are starting to outweigh the better ones—or if you’ve been feeling disconnected, anxious, exhausted, or simply “not yourself” for a while—it may be time to check in more deeply. The truth is, many people struggle silently or ignore the warning signs. According to the World Health Organization, an estimated 1 in 4 people worldwide will experience a mental health issue at some point in their lives. And yet, stigma, shame, busyness and misconceptions still prevent many from seeking support. Common Myths About Mental Health Let’s take a moment to challenge a few common myths that often keep people from getting help: • “I should be able to handle this on my own.” 
While resilience is admirable, no one is meant to carry their emotional struggle alone. Seeking help or support is not an act of coward, or a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is an act of taking ownership and responsibility for our own mental health, and an act of courage to face the issue. Just as you’d seek help for a broken bone, it’s okay to seek support for emotional pain or mental unwellness too. • “My problems aren’t serious enough, other people in similar situation are going through the same thing.” 
Therapy or mental check-in isn’t just for people in crisis. Many clients seek support for stress, burnout, relationships, transitions, or just to better understand themselves. If it’s impacting you in any way, it’s valid. Especially so if it has been affecting your general wellbeing for some time. Only you know how you feel, and how you are being impacted. There is no one universal baseline for everyone, each of us is unique. • “If I talk about it, I will feel worse.” 
The opposite is often true. Recognising and naming what you’re feeling and being heard by a trusted person, or a professional in a safe space can bring incredible cathartic relief. The added advantage of seeking therapy with professional therapists is that you will not feel judged, instead you feel safe and heard, and will also achieve clarity as to your feelings and thinking. This clarity will go a long way to help you navigate through your struggles. Simple Ways to Support Your Mental Health This Month Whether you’re in a difficult season or simply wanting to stay emotionally grounded, here are some gentle practices you could try to support your mental wellbeing: 1. Create Intentional Pauses Take 2–5 minutes each day to check in with yourself. How’s your body feeling? What emotions are present? Just noticing and acknowledging, without judgment, is powerful. It means that you are paying attention to yourself, and recognising how you feel bodily and emotionally. 2. Move Your Body, Gently You don’t need an intense workout. Even a walk outside or light stretching can release tension and help bring your focus back to yourself. Bonus if you could get some fresh air and sunlight in the process too, which are vital to boost your mood. 3. Limit Mental Overload If you are suffering from mental overload, your nervous system needs breaks to recalibrate. You may have too many things you want done or expected to get done, try to organize and only focus on what really needs to be done currently , so that you can declutter and lighten the mental overload. Learning how to prioritise in our fast-paced life is important. Also try reducing overstimulation from excessive screen time, social media, news, or constant multitasking. 4. Reach Out and Connect Call a friend. Reach out to someone for a catch-up. Let someone know how you’re doing. Be interested in what’s going with someone’s life. You might be surprised how much it helps to connect with and talk to someone. 5. Get Support from a Professional There’s no shame in talking to a therapist. In fact, therapy can be one of the most empowering choices you make. It’s a safe and confidential space to explore your thoughts, process difficult emotions, and learn useful tools to navigate life more effectively. Therapy Is Not a Last Resort—It’s a Powerful Resource As a psychotherapist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside people through their most challenging seasons. And I’ve seen time and time again how people uncover or re-discover their inner resilience when they feel safe, heard, understood, and supported. Therapy offers more than just a place to vent. It’s a space where healing can happen. Where self-awareness can deepen. Where you can reconnect with your own wisdom and inner resources. Self-care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential In our culture, especially in caregiving roles or high-pressure environments, it’s easy to internalize the message that taking care of yourself is weak or selfish. But burnout, emotional numbness, and chronic stress don’t just affect you—they impact your relationships, your health, and your ability to show up fully for your loved ones. When you care for your mental health, everyone around you benefits. You become more grounded, more present, and more available—to yourself and others. So let’s rewrite the narrative: Checking in with oneself isn’t being self-indulgent. It’s being responsible. Final Thoughts If you’ve been navigating life’s demands on your own and wondering whether you could benefit from talking to someone—this is your invitation. Whether you’re processing a recent loss, dealing with anxiety, exploring your identity, or simply feeling stuck, therapy can be a life-changing space for self-discovery, healing and growth. World Mental Health Day is a powerful reminder, but mental health care isn’t a one-day event. It’s an ongoing practice of listening inward, paying attention to your body and emotions, and knowing that you can exercise your own agency in seeking support. If you’re looking for a place to begin, we are here. As therapists, we offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore what’s been weighing on your heart and mind. You don’t have to carry it all alone. If you would like to speak to me, or one of our therapists, feel free to contact us at [email protected] . Pause. Check In. Reflect. Heal. Your wellbeing matters. And you are not alone .

Mental Health Day Reflection: The Journey to Self-Mastery They say it takes 10,000 hours to master something. Whether it’s playing the violin, baking sourdough or speaking French, put in the time and you can become a master. Here’s a curious thought: Most of us have been living as ourselves for well over 30,000, 40,000, even 50,000 hours ... and yet, how many of us can say we’ve mastered ourselves? We’ve been alive, sure—but have we been awake, present for ourselves? Why Aren’t We Masters of Ourselves? Because too often, we’re: • Too busy chasing what we think we should want • Too busy being angry about what didn’t go our way • Too busy overthinking what might happen next • Too busy living in other people’s heads seeking approval and fearing judgment Sound familiar? You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re just not yet aligned and that can change. What Is Self-Mastery? Self-mastery isn’t about perfection. It’s about living in alignment with your values, your energy and your vision of the life you want . It’s about making conscious choices, not reactive ones. It’s about being present, not consumed by the past or future. It’s about leading with authenticity, not fear. Yes, it can be a journey. Sometimes, it requires coaching, healing, therapy and/or mentorship. Letting go of outdated identities, relationships or comfort zones may come with a cost. But with that loss often comes relief. You lose baggage you never needed to carry in the first place. Where It All Begins: Awareness The first step? Awareness. Ask yourself: • Who am I becoming? • What actually matters to me now? • Where am I operating from fear instead of freedom? From awareness, we cultivate authenticity . From authenticity, we begin to act in alignment. And with alignment, we start to feel at home in our own skin. That’s self-mastery. It is not loud, not flashy but quietly powerful. This Mental Health Day, Choose You This isn’t a day to “fix” yourself. It’s a day to meet yourself. For some of us it may be for the first time in a while. Take a breath. Slow down. Ask your inner self what they need. Then start small: one present moment, one conscious decision, one fearless step. You already have the hours. Now you just need the intention.

When I volunteered to write this month’s note on Hope & Healing Trauma, my mind was overflowing with ideas. There’s so much to say, so many perspectives, so many lived experiences. But as I began writing, I realised I had to bring it back to basics…the simplest truth. My wish is that if you take away just one thing from this note, it’s this: At the end of hope, lies your potential. Hope is a tricky thing. It can lift you up or it can feel completely out of reach depending on where you are in your healing journey. For someone carrying the weight of trauma, hope can feel foreign, almost unrealistic. And yet, even the tiniest glimmer of it can create the spark that helps us climb out of the darkest places. I’ve been there. I’ve had to pick myself up after the heartbreak of a toxic relationship that broke down my self worth in my twenties. I’ve had to rebuild form burnout at work, restart my finances after leaving a five figure corporate job to pursue entrepreneurship and even fight through a cancer diagnosis that changed everything I thought I knew about life. Reading these words here may make them sound neat and manageable, but what’s missing are the tears, the anxiety, the worry behind the scenes. What carried me through those moments wasn’t grit or resilience alone, it was hope. Hope that the only way was up. Hope that if I kept showing up for myself, I would eventually find light on the other side. But here’s the truth: healing is not linear. It’s messy. It’s haphazard. Some days you feel like you’re making progress and other days you feel like you’re back at square one. That doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re human. The true goal isn’t to avoid setbacks, but to get better at picking yourself up when they happen. For years, I lived angry; angry at relationships that hurt me, angry at an environment I didn’t feel I fit into, angry at life’s unfairness. But when I turned inward, I realised the anger wasn’t really about others. It was about me. I wasn’t showing up authentically for myself. I wasn’t giving myself permission to heal. That realisation became my tipping point. It wasn’t easy. It took years of counselling, meditation, journaling and one practice that profoundly shifted everything for me: BodyTalk . BodyTalk is a holistic healthcare system that looks at the whole person; your mind, your body and your experiences, not just your symptoms. Our bodies carry stories: traumas, emotions and unresolved memories that show up as stress, illness or pain. In BodyTalk these stories are gently uncovered and released. For me, it meant letting go of emotionally charged experiences I’d been unconsciously holding onto as my identity; stories that were taking up unnecessary space in my mind and body. When I allowed myself to release them through BodyTalk sessions, something incredible happened. I felt freer. My body felt lighter. And more importantly, my mind felt spacious again. Ready to hold, not pain, but potential. That’s where hope led me: to potential. The potential to be myself. The potential to heal. The potential to live differently, to go against the grain and be okay with it. So if you take away just one thing from this note, let it be this: hope is not about perfection and healing is not about erasing your past. Trauma doesn’t have to define you. When you stop letting it own you, you begin to uncover the space for who you are meant to be. And at the end of hope, always, lies your potential.