Women and Stress
by Claudette Jordan – Psychologist, Functional Medicine Certified Health Coach, HeartMath Coach
Stress is our body’s adaptive response to the regular occurrences that happen in our daily lives. Stress can have a positive influence when it helps to motivate us. However chronic stress can be destructive and negatively impacts all aspects of our well-being. We are living in a culture that makes us believe that stress is inevitable for a woman, that it is a normal way of life, but that is terribly dangerous. Women today are plagued by the pressure to be the best at everything – career woman, wife, mother, to have the best body, and and and….
Although psychological and cultural factors often also dictate expectations that lead to women wearing many different hats and fulfilling many different roles at once, neuroanatomy may play a role as well - if we look at the way our brain is wired. Male and female brains are generally very different in how they work. Typically, a woman’s brain differs to a man’s in structure, thinking, processing of emotions and chemical make-up. Men tend to think with their grey matter – the information processing centres of the brain, whereas women tend to think with the white matter, which is more the “wiring” between the centres (connections between the neurons). This may also explain why men tend to operate in more unidimensional, focused ways, whilst women are multidimensional and concerned about many different elements and how all those elements impact each other at once.
Women also tend to have a reputation for being “worriers” and are prone to experiencing more stress. This may be influenced by a few different factors. Firstly, oxytocin levels being higher in a female's brain, allowing her to be more aware of and concerned about others’ pain, think more quickly and exhibit more immediate, empathic responses to others. Secondly, in women, the hippocampus, which is the brain’s memory centre that turns short-term memories into long-term ones, tends to be larger than in men. This accounts for why women often have a better memory for details, both pleasant and unpleasant, and it makes it hard for them to forget. Thirdly, not only does a woman's body produce more stress hormones than a man’s, but once a stressful event is over, women's bodies also take longer to stop producing the hormones. This may be a cause or an effect of women's tendency to replay stressful events in their minds and to dwell on upsetting situations – hence the impact of stress on women may be protracted and more intense.
Other differences in the chemical composition of the brain, are demonstrated in that women may produce less serotonin and have fewer transporters to recycle it. As such when faced with ongoing psychosocial stressors, women can be more susceptible to emotional challenges such as depression and anxiety. In addition, the fluctuating hormones during a women’s monthly cycle also impact brain chemicals. Estrogen, progesterone and testosterone have a significant impact on neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine and GABA. Hence when there is a fluctuation in these hormones during the month, neurotransmitter levels in the brain fluctuate accordingly and mood, energy, optimal cognitive thinking, maintaining calm, good sleep etc which are important for dealing with stress and challenges, are compromised.
Stress responses are also more likely to cause physical symptoms(imbalances in hormonal and digestive systems for e.g.) in women than in men. The amygdala which processes emotions like fear and pain communicates with organs that take in and process visual information in men. Whereas in women the amygdala communicates with parts of the brain that regulate hormones and digestion. Stress symptoms in women can range from headaches, IBS, joint pain, foggy brain, mood swings, difficulty sleeping to apathy and withdrawal – the list is long and varies for each woman.
However often we are so busy juggling all the various expectation that we do not pause enough to consider how stress might be impacting us. The scary reality is that women’s health is on the decline, and we are now more prone to previously more typically “male” diseases such as heart attack, high cholesterol etc. than breast cancer for example. Women can manage stress more effectively by pausing to examine how stress might be manifesting itself in their lives physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually and at work. Once you take notice of the impact, making an individual wellness plan that can help you to create effective, supportive strategies appropriate to your lifestyle is an important next step. To find out more about personalised functional medicine health coaching you can get in touch with Claudette here
ADHD isn’t just something that hyperactive little boys have, and it certainly doesn’t disappear when you grow up. For many women, ADHD remains undiagnosed for decades, leading to overwhelm, self-doubt, and frustration. When motherhood enters the mix, these feelings become even more intense—bringing a daily battle with organization, emotional regulation, and the never-ending mental load. If you’re an adult woman with ADHD and also a mum, you are not alone. I see you, and I understand the challenges firsthand. Diagnosed at 35, I know what it’s like to spend years feeling like I struggled to do the most simple of things that other mums breezed through—only to later realize that ADHD had been running the show all along. But once you understand your ADHD, you can work with it—instead of it ruling you. I’ve made it my mission to help women reclaim control over their lives. Through my Balance Quest ADHD Screening & Symptom Management Programme, I guide women just like you in overcoming obstacles and finding strategies that actually work. The Hidden Struggles of Late Diagnosis ADHD in women is often misunderstood or dismissed. Many of us grow up being told we’re just "scatterbrained," "too sensitive," or "lazy"—when in reality, we’ve been living with a neurodevelopmental condition that impacts focus, emotional regulation, and executive function. It’s no surprise that many women don’t get diagnosed until their 30s, 40s, or even later. We spend years masking our struggles, trying to keep up, and wondering why everything feels so much harder than it seems for everyone else. Common Signs of ADHD in Women: • Constantly feeling overwhelmed by daily responsibilities • Difficulty keeping up with schedules, appointments, or deadlines • Struggling with emotional regulation—frequent frustration, anxiety, or low self-esteem • Forgetting things (even important ones) or losing track of time • Being disorganized, despite trying countless planners and systems • Feeling like you’re "always behind" or "never doing enough" Does this sound familiar? You are not broken. Your brain just works differently—and that’s okay. The Invisible Struggles of Motherhood with ADHD If managing ADHD is already overwhelming, motherhood can make this 10X more challenging. The constant demands, unpredictable routines, and 24-7 caring for children can leave ADHD mums exhausted, overstimulated, and feeling like they’re a failure. Here’s how ADHD can impact motherhood: 1. Debilitating Overwhelm Juggling school schedules, meal planning, and managing the household, the never-ending to-do list can feel absolutely impossible to keep up with. ADHD mums often struggle with procrastination and forgetfulness, making keeping on top of things so much harder. 2. Mum Guilt and Staying Calm in Chaos ADHD affects our impulse control and emotional regulation, meaning that irritability, frustration, or overstimulation can hit really hard—especially when kids demand constant attention. Most ADHD mums feel guilty for snapping at their children or struggling to be patient 3. Sticking To Daily Routines Planning ahead, following schedules, and staying organized? Easier said than done. Many ADHD mums really struggle with executive function, making ‘simple’ daily tasks like packing lunches, remembering school events, or sticking to a structured routine feel like an uphill battle. 4. When You Doubt Yourself Many ADHD women have spent their lives masking their symptoms, trying to "keep up" with neurotypical expectations. This can lead to crippling self-doubt and perfectionism, making us feel like we’re constantly falling short as mothers. 5. It Can Become TOO MUCH The constant noise, touch, and chaos of parenting can be overwhelming for ADHD brains, leading to sensory overload, stress, and emotional exhaustion. This can make it difficult to be present, patient, and engaged. Struggling doesn’t mean failing. ADHD mums are some of the most creative, compassionate, and resilient women I know. With the right support and strategies, you can turn ADHD challenges into strengths. How Therapy & The Balance Quest Programme Can Help : I created Balance Quest ADHD Screening & Symptom Management Programme because I know how life-changing it is to finally understand your ADHD and develop strategies that actually work. It’s not about fixing yourself—it’s about working with your brain, not against it. Here’s how we can help: 🔹 Understanding ADHD in Women Every woman’s ADHD experience is completely unique. In personalized sessions, we explore how ADHD affects your daily life and develop strategies tailored to your specific challenges. 🔹 Time Management & Organization We’ll work together to create realistic, ADHD-friendly routines and strategies that help you prioritize, structure, and actually follow through on tasks. No more trying to fit into neurotypical systems that don’t work for you! 🔹 Emotional Regulation & Stress Management Learning to manage frustration, anxiety, and mom guilt is key. We’ll use practical techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and breathwork to help you navigate emotions with more ease. 🔹 Self-Esteem & Confidence Building Years of undiagnosed ADHD can leave women with a damaged sense of self-worth. Therapy can help you reframe negative self-talk, recognize your strengths, and develop self-compassion. 🔹 Career & Work-Life Balance ADHD can make workplace challenges feel overwhelming. We help women advocate for accommodations, improve focus, and develop productivity strategies that actually workwith an ADHD brain. 🔹 Relationships & Communication ADHD can impact personal and professional relationships. Therapy provides tools for setting boundaries, improving communication, and deepening connections with partners, family, and friends. 🔹 Self-Care & Burnout Prevention Many ADHD women struggle with all-or-nothing thinking around self-care. We focus on realistic, sustainable self-care strategies that fit into your life without feeling like another overwhelming to-do. Through one-on-one therapy, ADHD coaching, and structured support programs, we provide the tools you need to take control of your ADHD and build a life that actually worksfor you. You Are Not Failing If you’ve spent years struggling, questioning yourself, or feeling like you’re constantly falling short—please know this: You are not failing. You are not broken. You are simply a woman with ADHD who deserves support and strategies that work for YOU. Being a mum with ADHD is challenging, but you’re also a mum with tons of creativity, love, and resilience. With the right tools, you can learn to manage overwhelm and create a fulfilling life. If you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here to help. Whether you’re newly diagnosed, suspect you have ADHD, or simply want to learn strategies to feel more in control of your life, let’s work together. 📌 Book a session with me at Counselling Perspective (in-person or online) and start your Balance Quest today. 🌟 You don’t have to figure this out alone—because ADHD women deserve support, understanding, and the chance to thrive. For more information: info@counselingperspective.com
Women’s Day is more than a celebration, it’s an opportunity to rethink women’s major health concerns: stress, one of the leading causes of health issues. It’s a chance to reflect on healthier ways to cope with it. As women, how many times have you felt challenged by stress? The kind that follows you through the day and keeps you up at night, tightening your chest as you mentally replay overwhelming worries? Despite considerable advances, significant gaps remain in our acknowledgement of stress related to gendered caring roles. While stress is universal, we know that women and men experience it in very different ways. Women are more likely to feel overwhelmed and exhausted by stress. We also know that women are exposed to chronic stress than men. Why it is so? The silent burden of women When it comes to women and stress, the answer to this question partly lies in social constructs, role prescription and emotional labor. Although stress is an unavoidable part of life, for women; it often comes in layers: Being a devoted mother, a family caregiver, a loving and supportive wife, and a successful career woman while maintaining social expectations in terms of beauty, fitness, ageing, and emotional support can beoverwhelming. This, is the invisible burden that women disproportionally carry and that contributes to the strain many women feel daily. As a result, women often internalize stress by developing perfectionist tendencies as a way to cope with the pressure of juggling multiple roles. This situation is further intensified by the disconnection between what’s expected of women and what is it, really, to be a women in today’s world. This snowballing effect leads women to put more pressure on themselves trying to solve this complex equation, relentlessly willing to close the gap between social expectations and reality of womanhood. As a therapist, I have encountered many women facing stressful events struggling with self-defeating beliefs such as “I fail if I can’t do it all” , “ I should stay strong for everyone” or "I should be able to handle everything on my own" . Those thoughts are deeply ingrained in women’s minds and they often reinforce guilt, emotional suppression, and perfectionism;making stress even more overwhelming. What are the causes of women stress? The main identified causes of stress are professional life, financial problems, couple life, and health issues. However, the reality of women balancing multiple roles across professional, personal, and social spheres intensifies stress and exhaustion as they navigate conflicting demands. Here are common sources of stress for women: Work-related stress: In the workplace, women's stress often arises from unexpected sources. On the top of their duties as professionals’, women are expected to demonstrate greater empathy, patience, and emotional control. The glass ceiling and gender biases create additional pressure by imposing higher expectations on women. Maintaining work-life balance also remains a constant source of stress. “Super-women” syndrome: Women often face a “second shift,” balancing professional and domestic responsibilities, which significantly increases stress. Managing schedules, tracking household tasks, and remembering key dates add to their mental load. Parenting further amplifies this stress, as societal expectations and the "Perfect Mother" myth set unattainable standards. Many women feel compelled to meet these ideals, often at the cost of their own well-being. Women face immense pressure to excel in multiple roles at once. This relentless demand fosters resentment, fatigue, and stress, particularly when their efforts go unrecognized. Love & Load: As a couple therapist, I experienced several key stressors that women face in their relationships. Traditional gender norms still expect women to prioritize their relationships and family over personal needs. A women may not engage in pursuing her career, stepping up the laddersfearing relationship strain. The struggle to balance self-identity and relationship expectations, combined with guilt and self-doubt when prioritizing personal goals, often creates internal conflict and increased stress for women. How do we react to stress? While short term stress can be a source of motivation, chronic stress gradually depletes mental, emotional, and physical health. Chronic stress impacts all aspects of well-being: psychologically, it leads to emotional exhaustion and low self-esteem; emotionally, it causes breakdowns and burnout; physically, it weakens immunity and increases health risks; and behaviorally, it fosters withdrawal and maladaptive coping. Early intervention is key to preventing long-term harm. How to better cope with stress? International Women’s Day is an opportunity to pause and reflect on better ways to manage stress through healthy and adaptive coping strategies that enhance women’ quality of life and overall well-being. Here are some healthy strategies to relate to: 1. Separate the Stress from the stressor When experiencing stress, it is important to separate stress from the stressor. Stress is your body’s physiological response that follows a cycle with a beginning, middle, and an end;while the stressor is the external trigger. You don’t have to fix your problem to release stress. Even if the stressor (work deadlines, family conflicts or couple issues) is still present, you can release stress physically and emotionally through simple actions like: deep breathing, crying or sharing a warm hug with a loved one. Visualization can be a powerful tool. Closing your eyes and picturing a safe, comforting space helps your body process stress, relax and reset. 2. Be friend with stress When we experience stress our body respond in different ways, each of them shaping the way we cope with our challenges. Fight Mode: Reacting with frustration, defensiveness, or aggression. Instead of lashing out, try to pause before reacting and reset your response through deep breathing. Flight Mode: Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to withdraw. Try to regain a sense of control by breaking challenges into small, manageable and controllable steps. Befriend Mode: Research shows that this strategy leads to better outcome. Women tend to embrace stress by seeking support rather than fighting or fleeing. They often turn to connection, sharing their worries with their loved ones, which helps regulate the nervous system and alleviate stress. Recognizing different coping mechanisms allows us to adopt a more constructive approach to managing stress and its triggers. 3. Stress as a lever not a threat Instead of seeing stress as a threat, reframe your mindset: Stress is just your body’s reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or a response. Stress prepares you to face your challenge. Instead of seeing stress as a threat, making peace with it allows us to harness its energy, its motivational force, build resilience, and navigate our challenges with greater response. When your heart races, when anxiety increases just think: “My body is just giving me a motivational force to overcome my challenge” or “How can I use this force for good to mitigate my worries?”. Shifting our perspective to see stress as a positive force fosters resilience, turning challenges into opportunities. Trusting our ability to adapt is key. 4. Reframing, Is the glass half-full or half-empty? When worries pile up, stress takes control. That’s the moment to pause and reframe. Ask yourself, “Is the glass half-full or half-empty?” Shift from “I’ll never get through this” to “I’ll take it one step at a time.” Try changing your perspective, identify one potential benefit in the challenge, recall past moments when you successfully managed stress, or focus on a small, actionable step within your control. Reframing is essential because stress has an impact on our cognitive flexibility, it narrows our thinking, distorts our perspective, and makes challenges feel bigger than they are. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough! 5. Resonance as a stress relief To relentless pressure, we, women need to find our own deep connection to the world to healthily cope with stress. Hartmut Rosa's concept of “Resonance” emphasizes shifting from control to meaningful connection whether in relationships, work, nature, or creativity fostering deeper connection, well-being, and a more fulfilling way of experiencing life. Instead of viewing life as a checklist of tasks, a relentless pursuit of perfection and performance, or a constant drive for efficiency, we should focus on experiencing life purposefully. Rather than seeking validation, we need to connect with what truly matters. Instead of feeling trapped by expectations, we should embrace being fully present in the moment and finding joy in the “here” and “now”. Constantly reminding ourselves that our worth is not defined by external standards. Many activities can help us engage in a form of “Resonance” to ourselves and to the world, including yoga, sound healing, meditation, and gratitude practices. Keeping in mind that true support for women stress comes from all genders, including men, in a shared commitment to balance, equity, and well-being.
Perimenopause is something that’s rarely talked about and even less understood. This is the time in a woman's life BEFORE Menopause (defined as the cessation of menstruation for at least 12 months), and this is actually when most of the big changes are happening. Even more surprising? That most women over 35 are already in perimenopause, even if they don’t show significant symptoms, this coincides with a woman's drop in fertility. Perimenopause isn’t just about hot flashes and irregular periods. It’s a deeply personal transformation that can shake your confidence, impact your relationships, and make you question your sense of self. I know this not just as a psychotherapist but also as a yoga master, health coach, and the creator of YogaPause (and author of best-selling book by the same name)—a method I developed after years of working with women navigating this life stage. I’ve spent over two decades guiding women through transitions, and I’m currently writing my research thesis on self-esteem and relationships in women aged 40-55. I see more clearly than ever how perimenopause can challenge our identity. The good news is that you don’t have to go through it alone. Therapy can help you navigate the changes, build your confidence and reframe what you want from life going forward. How Getting Older Affects Your Self-Esteem Perimenopause has a sneaky way of making us question ourselves. It stirs up emotions, shifts our bodies in ways we don’t always recognize, and brings up thoughts like: Who am I now? Do I still matter? What the hell am I going to do with my life now? Here are some of the things that could be chipping away at your self-esteem: 1. Your Body Doesn’t Look The Same Suddenly, the body you’ve known for decades starts to feel foreign. Weight gain, bloating, thinning hair, dry skin—these changes can make you feel very self-conscious. Many of us look in the mirror and don’t recognize ourselves, we’re self-critical and insecure. 2. Brain Fog Ever walked into a room and forgotten why? Or struggled to remember someone’s name mid-conversation? Perimenopause can bring cognitive shifts that leave us feeling less than sharp and doubting our abilities. When you start second-guessing yourself, your confidence takes a big hit. 3. Emotional Sensitivity and Self-Doubt Mood swings, irritability, and feeling emotionally raw are all common. One moment, you feel fine; the next, you're in tears over an advert with an injured hedgehog. When your emotions become unpredictable, it’s easy to start doubting yourself and feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough.” 4. Women Are Supposed To Be Young FOREVER Society isn’t always kind to women over 40. From media to workplace biases, we get messages that our worth diminishes with age. Many women struggle with feeling invisible, less desirable, or irrelevant—especially in their careers and relationships. This Is How Perimenopause Can Impact Your Relationships: When our self-esteem starts to waver, our relationships feel the strain. I see this time and again in the women I work with. They tell me: I don’t feel connected to my partner anymore. I feel lonely, even when I’m surrounded by people. Here’s some of the ways perimenopause could be affecting your relationships: 1. You’re Pulling Away From Your Partner If you’re feeling low about yourself, it’s easy to pull away—emotionally and physically. Changes in your libido, body image worries, and mood fluctuations can lead to less intimacy and more misunderstandings. 2. Your Grumpy and Irrational Hormonal changes can make emotions feel bigger than normal: Think PMS on Steroids. Small things that never bothered you before suddenly feel overwhelming. If you find yourself snapping at loved ones or feeling unheard, you’re not alone and it’s normal. 3. You Feel Alone In This Many women say, No one understands what I’m going through. This feeling can lead to withdrawing from social circles, avoiding deep conversations, or even drifting away from close friends. Perimenopause is REAL and big and challenging and you need to be supported by other women who understand and can relate. 4. Changing Family Roles At this stage of life, many of us are also dealing with our kids growing up and leaving home, ageing parents, or career transitions. All of these stressors can add to feelings of overwhelm, and lack of purpose or sense of self, making it even harder to prioritize relationships. How Therapy Can Help You Figure Out Who You Are AndWhat You Want From Life 40+ Here’s something I want every woman to hear: You are not losing yourself. You are evolving.Therapy can help you navigate this transition with self-compassion, clarity, and confidence. 40+ can be the best stage of your life - you just need to approach it in the right way. 1. It Can Help You Rebuild Your Self-Esteem Therapy helps you challenge the negative self-talk that can come with ageing. It’s about shifting the focus from what’s changing to what’s still strong within you - or better yet, what’s STRONGER. Learning to redefine beauty, value, and self-worth is an essential part of this process. 2. Understanding and Managing Your Emotions Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and breathwork can be powerful tools for managing hormonal mood swings, anxiety, and self-doubt. In my practice, I often integrate yoga and breathwork and nutrition alongside psychotherapy to help women create a mind-body connection that fosters emotional balance. A full life approach is the most effective way to move forward into this next life stage. 3. Strengthening Your Relationships Does your marriage have a whole new range of issues? Feeling disconnected from friends? Therapy can help you identify how your self-esteem impacts your relationships and help you communicate what you need and how you’re feeling with confidence. 4. Accepting Your Changing Body Instead of seeing physical changes as losses, therapy can help shift the narrative to self-acceptance. My YogaPause method combines gentle movement, breathwork, and mindfulness to reconnect women with their bodies in a way that feels empowering rather than defeating. Building physical strength and mental resilience are an essential part of the journey. 5. Finding a New Sense of Purpose Perimenopause isn’t an ending—it’s also a beginning. Many women feel lost in this transition, but therapy can help them rediscover passions, set new goals, and redefine what fulfillment looks like in this next chapter. This can absolutely be the best time of your life. You Deserve Support Perimenopause is more than a biological transition—it’s an emotional, psychological, and deeply personal one. It can feel overwhelming, but help is available. Therapy provides a space to rediscover yourself, strengthen your relationships, and step into this new life phase with confidence. If you’re feeling lost, struggling with self-esteem, or noticing strain in your relationships, reach out. You are not alone.
